Saint Callistus 2010 Retreat: Be The Change

I'm praying that God will help me to recall the many wonderful experiences I've been blessed with this weekend.

Friday

I got up at 8 am to play tennis with Johnny and we were hitting pretty well.  Only thing was, we were both really sore afterwards and there was no time for a nap.  Patty, my mom, and Dayna dropped me off at church where we had our team meeting.  After going through the schedules, we headed toward the Parish Center where the kid came to check in their luggage and to socialize before we left.  It was nice to see the parents and their children talking to each other, which reminded me again how strong the community of Saint Callistus was!  It was fun checking bags and getting to know the kids in a joking manner.  Eventually the buses arrived and we had to load all the kids stuff in the storage compartments.  I couldn't believe how heavy their bags were and how much stuff they were bringing:  it was like they were planning to stay a whole week or something.

Johnathan and I rode in his car filled with drinks, food, music, and spent the next few hours in traffic on the 91.  Although it was really irritating the pace we were going, we did have a good talk and even made contact with Johnny and Vince who were coming late and catching up with us.  We eventually got there and I was reunited with my partner Carolyn.  Dinner was served and the kids were treated their first round of singing, dancing, and a talk.  Later that night, the "mask" activity took place, which I won't describe in detail in case a student reads this, but it too was an amazing experience for me and my kids:  Sophia, Rowena, Branden, John, Brian, Alexis, Peter, and Raul.  At night, we had adoration with Father Ben, and I was able to perform with Coco a few songs to help the mood.  It's always nice to be able to play music and serve God; two things I love to do.  The night ended with me rooming with Vince, Luis, and Johnny in room 8.  We ended up staying up pretty late baking cookies, but it was a lot of fun even though we were tired.  The hardest part of the night was dealing with the back pains coming from playing tennis earlier:  I slept on the floor with a thin sleeping bag and though the cold didn't bother me much, just getting a good position to sleep was impossible.  I wanted to hike the next morning but I woke up much too late, besides I definitely needed the rest!

Saturday

The morning came and I went down to get some breakfast with the kids.  We listened to several more talks, and did a few more bonding activities, so finally me and Carolyn were able to meet the kids and start getting spiritual and emotional.  I love the interaction and the bond that developed between the kids and also with us, their leaders.  I performed in a skit that was a lot of fun, which led to another skit later that night which was very intense!  All in all, the kids were able to find Christ in the chapel through everything the leaders gave to the kids.  Again I was able to rest in the music and song while we all rested in Christ's arms.  The night ended with affirmation, and this time I was able to get much better sleep.  I was glad to see my old kids touched by my gifts for them :)

Sunday

I woke up JUST in time for the meeting, and then we had breakfast.  We took the kids to the chapel for more talks and serious bonding activities.  By this point my relationship with the kids became so strong and I really loved them and wanted to support them.  Adam's talk and Brian's talk broke my heart, and I was glad to see the end of the retreat really brought out the best in the kids.  Fastforward to going home, we celebrated in a special way prior to mass, and afterwards I headed home to rest.  I'm currently waiting for food to come home while resting in my very soft bed =]  I know this was all brief but, I definitely did not want to say too much!

Kev

First Week of School OVER!

So the school week concluded and I realized how much money I don't have for books and a parking pass.  Oh well, I have to make it work somehow right?  I got to hang out with Leyna and Michelle today catching up about winter break and such.  It was actually really nice to catch up with people, especially with Quyen my partner in crime for a few semesters now!

I have a huge headache, after all I got in a fight with my dad over dumb little things.  The timing sucks seeing as how I'm going to be at retreat all weekend and I have to leave with this on my mind.  God help us get over little stupid stuff please.

-Kev

Last Day At Work

I had such a tough time getting up today!  I snoozed like 3 times before I finally dragged myself to the shower and into the car to head to school.  I did meter parking today, which is still a rip-off to me but oh well.  I'll buy my pass soon when the line isn't so bad.  Anyways, it was funny to see that class was full on the first day, but half empty today.  I bet on test days it'll be full again!  Anyways, I drove back home in order to have some lunch before work.

Mom made com chien, and I, inspired by the knowledge I gained through Contemporary China last semester and Modern China this semester, asked about my mother's family for the first time.  Her grandfather was first a tailor in the Hainan, until he got so fed up with picky complaining customers he switched to the business sector and sold coffee and made rice deals.  He would sail once in a while to Vietnam down China's east coast in a month long journey conducting business until the Communist began to influence heavily the government. 

This man who was my great-grandfather, saw the impending Communist Revolution and went with his brother to Vietnam in order to preserve their wealth, though his brother went up and down on the same voyage to periodically visit family back in Hainan.  Unfortunately, when his brother was visiting in China one time, the Communists took over and prevented the brother from returning to Vietnam.  That left my great grandfather to settle in Vietnam and he started a restaurant that sold dimsum and coffee, which became very prosperous.  Then, the Communist party in Vietnam took over, banning all business licenses including my grandfather's.  Poverty struck Vietnam.

But in a stroke of luck, privileged Communist relatives of my grandfather were able to cheat the system and restore his business, which sold newspapers until this very day, becoming even more wealthy than before.  Thankfully, his being able to settle down and comfortably live in Rach Gia provided the means for the birth of my uncles, aunts, and my mother, who had enough money to immigrate to the United State.

After that enlightening conversation, I headed to work which turned out to be a really easy day, seeing as how it was my last day.  I didn't feel like I was leaving them though, I plan to visit often.  I never had so many hugs from them in my life!

Afterwards we had more hilarious skit practices at church especially with Gerry!  What a comic!  I had Rubios with Charissa and we spent part of the night searching all over for Claudia's keys.  At the end when we gave up, she saw them in her car -_____-  Oh well!  Two more days until retreat!!  I better get packing...

-Kev

Skit Practice and SC Bonding Time

The rain came again in a much healthier dose.  School started at 12:30 today, which meant plenty of sleep for once!  I went to Professor Dabel's Civil War class, and by the way she is probably the best teacher I'll ever have.  The next class was canceled seeing as how Prof. Blutinger had a fever.  Me and Quyen have this inside joke where he would NEVER miss a class because last semester he'd come in and be sick or whatever, like when he lectured though he had laryngitis!  Well, even though we were wrong, I wasn't sad about it :)

I headed home at around 3 and found some food to eat at home.  I made mi wonton and watched mystery quest on the history channel about the lost city of Atlantis.  After lounging around and a brief nap I met up with Claudia, Charissa, and Adam at Oggi's on Harbor and Chapman.  It was everyone's first time and the food turned out to be delicious!  I had a pasta with mushrooms and chicken that everyone picked off of!  Later we headed back to church to practice the skits.

They ended up being hilarious as we were joking around, pervading our skits and dramatizing/comedizing them to the limits!  I can't wait until retreat arrives so we can show off how amazing our performances will be!  Right now I'm listening to Safe by Britt Nicole, a song I heard in Theresa's office that really moves me.  Hopefully I'll knock out in a few minutes so good night world!

-Kev

First Day Back at School

Monday came but the floods of water capable of closing campus did not.  However, I only had one class today, Modern China, which I think I'll really enjoy and do well in because I've had the teacher before and I've taken Contemporary China as well.  A handful of classmates are in it so I'm glad I'll have people to talk to and study with.

Later on I went to work, which was pretty sad because I don't know if I'm ready to leave the kids yet.  However, the decision has already been made and my name is already off the staff list.  That part really hit me and I tried my best to make every kid laugh today.  At least I'll be able to volunteer and visit them whenever I want!

Afterward I headed to Saint Callistus to practice two skits for retreat.  The first one, "The Everything Skit", I am already familiar with, but the second, "Choices", was a little frustrating because I am supposed to play this hot stuff guy who seduces a girl, then becomes a real jerk.  I'm not very good at either but there's more practice for that.  I hope I do better tomorrow I don't want to let down my casters!

This is a short entry, but I'm pooped.  School at 12:30 tomorrow so I better get some rest!  Good night world!

-Kev

Sundays at Saint Callistus

It was nice to finally re-experience the warmness of the sunshine this morning instead of gallons of rain pouring down!  I just lounged around this morning thinking about school tomorrow.  I'm bummed but at the same time, I'm almost done so I will just suck it up and finish strong this semester!  It'll all be over soon...

Anyways, I had Rubios with Angela today and we caught up and discussed a possible grass roots event aimed to raise awareness and support for the Haitians in light of their recent natural disaster.  I'm really excited about that, because ever since I saw the "Hope for Haiti" concert on TV, I've felt the call to lend my support in anyway I could.

I made my way to church and today the kids recited prayers and presented their saint projects.  I was really proud with the work my group of confirmation students did today and I'm really excited for their retreat experience!  The music and Father Ben's homily was great today, I particularly enjoyed the prayer that the entire church participated in for our Lecturer, who has been suffering from a very mysterious migraine that has lasted for years now.  What an amazing community there is at Saint Callistus!

Well it looks like I'm gonna be sleeping early tonight so I can try to wake up on time for class tomorrow.  9:30AM never sounded so freaking early!  Oh and go SAINTS!  Below is my hand, picture drawn courtesy of my student Agnes.

Proud to be Catholic!

Today was a great day!  It didn't start out so well, but it got better quickly, like when this morning, waiting to turn onto Lewis, I see Theresa Tran's BIG SMILE in the rear view mirror!  We had retreat training from 10AM to 2PMish and I am proud to say I am Carolyn's partner which I'm super excited about because she's so chill!  I enjoyed the icebreaker (mostly because I didn't lose at "Baby if you love me you'll smile" game), the discussion, and the com gia we had from Nha Hang $1.99.  I think that our group at Saint Callistus is a really close knit, and strongly wound group and I am really looking forward to teaching Sunday class tomorrow as well as the retreat next weekend!

Later, Hugo, Brian, Adam, and I went to shoot pool at 2000, but I got my butt handed to me by the Hugo+Adam team.  It's okay I will definitely get them next time!  I had my moments but I admit I sucked for the most part, which was disappointing but you know what, the boys and I had a lot of fun and that's all that mattered.  The trash talking and the bromance made my afternoon!

After dropping the boys off at church, Hugo invited me to play tennis with him and some of his friends in Irvine.  How could I say no?  After days without sunshine and dry surfaces, I couldn't resist taking him up on the offer and so we carpooled to his friend's place which ended up being across the Irvine Spectrum.  I have to say that complex was beautiful and had EVERYTHING!  Pools, tennis courts, grilling patios, basketball courts, gyms, whatever!  I met Tina, Ralph, and Jamie, and later on Tina's brother Peter.  We played a LOT of tennis and it was fun to watch Hugo literally dive into bushes to retrieve balls.  I must say though, my arm was STILL sore from boys night out a couple days ago, but I was still able to whack a few balls around.

We all decided to go eat at the Spectrum after cleaning up so we put away our gear and walked across the street and into Red Robins.  While waiting for the food, we played a few games with our hands and thumbs, which was surprisingly entertaining!  I then found out the three others were Catholic and were part of the Newman club at Long Beach State, where I go to school!  We had a great conversation about our faith and political issues involving it.  I really enjoyed getting to know them on a personal level and also a spiritual level, I definitely plan to check out their meetings on campus!

I'm now finally home and reflecting on a great day.  Me and Hugo have so much in common it's surprising, and talking to him has provided me insight about my personal beliefs and spiritual tendencies as well.  I'm glad we had a good conversation about other political issues and how our faith should play a big part in those decisions.  Anyways, I definitely need the sleep right now before it's back to church tomorrow!  Good night world!

-Kev

Hope For Haiti

 I started out the day relatively rested, then off to work I went!  I think the weather is finally lightening up as the sun poked through the clouds several more times today, although the staff and kids spent the day indoors.

The more memorable part of the day happened when Hope For Haiti took over broadcast television.  I've always felt really sympathetic for these victims of the intense earthquake and following crisis.  People are homeless, harmed, hungry, and hopeless.  It's really terrible what people have to resort to in order to survive like robbing orphanages searching for food.  These people are definitely in my prayers and I plan to buy a lot of this music they're performing to raise money!

Well I didn't think I was going to go out so late but I left home at 10:30PM to go celebrate Chenny's 21st at D&B's at the Spectrum!  We had a few shots but she turned out to be heavyweight which was kind of a bummer!  Anyways it was still fun and I made it back here at 1:33AM Favorite shots are definitely the Jager Bomb and Liquid Cocaine!  Good night!  and Good morning at 8AM -______-

A Slice of French Pastry in my Gut and a Bowling Ball in the Right Gutter

This morning I went with my sister to Main Place Mall and got some shopping done.  I got complimented on my lucky shirt which made me feel really good!  Afterward, we picked up one of Patty's tutor students from his school in Tustin, but I wasn't allowed into the house so I had to sit in her dinky little Corolla outside for an hour.  While I was in there, the rain poured extremely hard and the wind picked up to the point where I thought the car was going to get flung down the street.  Since it didn't, we made our way back home safe and sound despite the crazy traffic, wet potholes, and damaged street surfaces.  It's definitely amazing how much the weather can deteriorate the things man has built...

Another thing that was weird was that the sun just popped out of nowhere, disappeared, and then it rained like crazy again!  Doesn't anyone else find that mysteriously weird?

I met up with Michelle to get some pho!  Gosh I was craving it so bad and what better weather to eat it in!  Later we headed to South Coast Plaza for desert at Champagne Bakery!  What amazing little pastries that place has and so we had all sorts of treats.  I don't usually eat dessert, but man I'd always be down to go there for the Napoleon custard pastry!

It turned out it was BOYS NIGHT OUT with the SC members and so we met up for some late night bowling at Westminster Lanes.  It's been 4 years since the last time I went bowling so the night was a little slow for me...until after a bottle of Newcastle beer got me loose enough to knock out some strikes!  Bowling can definitely be addicting and I really want to go again soon!  Love those guys I had a ton of fun and SC really is home to me now.  By the way, Andrew/Steve is an AMAZINGLY unorthodox but efficient bowler.  I have the vids to prove it!

Oh and I just remembered that I was really impressed with the Bridge decorations at South Coast Plaza!  Really pretty stuff and hues of blue and white!  Felt like I was right under the stars...

Finally, the night is ending with the sound of HAIL hitting my windows!  Me and Angela agreed that the rain is definitely not as comforting and relaxing as it usually is.  My prayers go out to those stuck out in the rain, whether because of car related issues or those that don't have a place to stay.  It's safe to say we've had enough rain to last us the month.  Hoping to see more of that sunshine tomorrow, and until then, good night world!

-Kev

Another Rainy Day...

Yes, it was another rainy day today, complete with another tornado warning as well.  However, despite yesterday's dramatic forecast predictions, today's weather failed to overshadow Tuesday's intense barrage of rain and the powerful, howling winds.  Thankfully so, since it was back to work at the elementary school where kids react to the storm like magnets to a fridge:  all day they were checking outside for signs of precipitation, stomping in puddles, capturing the raindrops with their mouths, dancing around and competing with each other to see whose outfit could absorb the most water (hair qualified as part of their attire). God forbid if there was a tornado, I know we'd be chaining them to their seats in fear that they'd try to get sucked into it.

I realized two things after work today:  1)  I miss being a kid, when everything was fascinating and doing crazy and wild things was not only expected, but it was also unquestionably appropriate.  2)  I love kids!  They gave me weird looks when I participated in their games and activities and one even told me to "grow up and be as mature as other men my age are".  However, this did not stop me from stomping in puddles, catching rain with my mouth, stealing pencils, erasers, and utterly dominating children in Connect 4.  I'm definitely going to miss this job when I have to give it up to focus on my last semester at school.  Hopefully I'll have time to volunteer, still be in these kids' lives and at the same time keep them in mine.  If you've never worked with kids, you definitely should give it a shot!

Driving home I saw many flooded portions of streets and I wondered if rice rockets get clogged in these street rivers and die out, because that would really suck!  What do you do then?  Allan said that happened to him so he shifted it into neutral and floated down the street!  Although I'm confident this was just a joke it was fun to picture it.  Anyways, I was fortunate to make it home and realized I lost my credit card!  I had to call the bank to cancel it and to get me a new one but still I hate losing things I feel like I use TOO often to be misplacing.  I'm glad I didn't have to talk to anyone to get it done either, it was an automatic process.  I feared speaking with an associate trying to convince me to add protection plans, insurance, and other crap onto my account.  What a waste of time that would have been!  I'd hate to have that job because I'd know that I and my fellow coworkers would be one of the most hated and despised people in the US, pretty much in the same league as telemarketers.

Speaking about careers, my little sister Jessie got in touch with a doctor at her school, seeing as how she is EMT certified and work with several medical professionals.  This individual recommended a special internship that takes place in the summer in various medical institutions and hospitals.  It's paid and introduces participants to the public safety and public health fields, which is something I'm definitely interested in.  As a history major, I fell out of love with teaching and finding a new direction in my future career has been extremely exhausting.  Plan B will always be that masters in business, but for now I'm gonna give the medical field a good shot!  Helping people is very attractive and important to me, so I hope this really is the beginning of something really great!  Pray for me!

Now I plan to unwind with some John Mayer and his newest CD called Battle Studies.  Definitely looking forward to his concert in March at the Staples Center with my dad, and yes my dad is cool enough to be listening to John Mayer.  He always reminds me how he's from Tennessee and is a "bro".  I pray for the people in Haiti, and those homeless and less fortunate individuals that may be suffering from this dark weather.

-Kev

TORNADO WARNING?!

So this morning, a tornado warning was issued for Orange County, which to me was unheard of, until sure enough the emergency announcements appeared on the TV and my sister and my mom were tracking the storm as it headed down from the LA area.  I remembered at around 11 am it was inconspicuously raining, which wasn't out of the ordinary, but at 12pm to 1pm the rain was so uncontrollably loud I had to scream in order to communicate with my mom as we were trying to clear the drainage pipe in our patio, which was flooding with 3-5 inches of water!  I don't think I've ever been afraid of a storm before but my eyes were glued to the TV counting the minutes that it took for the OC to be clear of the tornado landing zone.

Well it passed, and I managed to take video footage of the chaos for good ol' memories.  Can't wait to show my dad and my little sister what happened here.  Only thing is now we have to clean up the mess the wind and rain left in the patio.  All I have to keep in mind is, it could have been worse!


UPDATE 1:57 pm

It is now freaking sunny bright outside!  What is going on?!  Kevin Pham texted me in response:  "This is how we ROLL in the OC!"  How true is that?

Song in the background:  Have You Ever Seen The Rain (coming down on a sunny day?) - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Here are a couple shots from my window.  The raindrops still dripping down my window...

My Epiphany

I decided to begin this series of blogs after randomly rediscovering my Xanga page, which details about three years worth of my teenage life. After nearly seven years since my last written entry there, I decided to embark on what turned out to be an unusually painful walk down memory lane, perusing each of the entries I posted so long ago.

While reminiscing on my years in middle school and high school, I found moments filled with friendship, love, and success, but along with these, disappointment, death, and regret. In retrospect, I can clearly observe the pathos and emotions of my young self working through the words I wrote in my entries: much of what I wrote highlighted the small joys in my life that made everything seem worth it as well as the lows of my life, which made me question myself. I can see that I covered up much of my pain, my sense of disconnection, distance, and unrelatability, a sense I didn't belong, with fancy words and witty sentences. I really fronted and hid my feelings well, even from myself.

My friendship with Keith Tio, my relationship with Olivia Le, the loss of my cousin Danielle and my best friend Bill were just a few milestones of my pre-adult life. I was surprised at how poetic and creative I tried to note these experiences, however, their meaning and significance has multiplied 10-fold seeing as how I, at 21 years of age, sobbed miserably in my bed when I had always thought these things were too distant in the past to tug on any heart string. I was wrong.

Where I am in life now is built upon this foundation of memories, good and bad. I describe my life now as stagnant, uncertain, but pregnant with possibilities, ambition, and potential success. I have accomplished many things I never dreamed I would be able to as far back as 7 years ago, when I was 14 years old. My concerns now consist of finishing college early as a history major, pursuing careers in either the electronics field like my father, or investigating the medical field, which intrigues me with its themes of helping people. I am involved with the Saint Callistus Church youth ministry, and play guitar for the music choir there every Sunday at 5:30 pm with either Father Ben or Father Jude. I am a youth leader in Confirmation, where I hope to lead others to Christ, who has changed my life. It is a community where I truly feel I belong, one of my own and not one where I was merely raised. I thank God for that opportunity.

*I would like to take this time to note that I am not sure how to journal correctly or effectively, in anticipation that I will look back on this in the future. I guess I just have to feel it out.

Anyways, I am proud of my accomplishments, my talents, and my goals. I have been able to delve into the musical world, where through singing, playing instruments like the guitar, piano, and even the cello, I've felt truly alive. I am still able to play tennis, and now I am able to drive, which allows me to socially connect with others. I am appreciative of the friends I have already made in these past few years, who I value more than any friends I made in high school. Most of these individuals are a part of the Saint Callistus Church Community, which I hope to remain a part of for the rest of my adult life.

The issue now is, what am I going to do with my life? I really don't know. My father offered me a job at his company, with people I've known since I was a toddler. However, the decision is very difficult to make: the economic recession and the relatively easiness involving this job, aside from some knowledge in the electronics field, push me to making a commitment to Semi Dice Inc. just like my father did so long ago. The problem is, I want to help people, like in the medical field. Just recently, my Godfather Duong and my sister Jessica opened my eyes to careers in the public health, safety, and medical fields. I would love to change lives that way and save them as well, I plan to get my feet wet by becoming EMT certified this summer. I don't know if I can take the job my father has offered me, it feels like I'd be ending my young adult years prematurely. I want to be a responsible and providing husband/father some day, is this the beginning of that road? Am I willing to make these sacrifices? Or should I wait, and perhaps realize my dream later on? I can't stand the timing of everything I feel like such a wreck.

For now I choose to sleep on it. I feel so stressed out, both my mind and my eyes feel so heavy with weariness, both physically, and emotionally, from the days strain and also the weight of 7 years of growing up. I hope that I stick to this journal. Though reading my Xanga proved to be difficult, it was very enlightening and satisfying to have the opportunity to reflect on such an important predecessor to my adult life. I do feel though that the more important things happen NOW, and within 10 years I may have a career, a family, and more to look forward to.

Thank you God for giving me another day to live, I pray for my friends, family, and those in need of love. Good night.

-Kev